Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
