Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
