is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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