So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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