If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
