i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize