Where is the hickey?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
