Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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