True but thats because hes a fetus.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
