She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
