Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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