I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
