Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
