I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think people are normalizing furries
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
