If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
handjob tips. give me some.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
