Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
