i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
