how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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