I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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