You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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