He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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