they need to just BURY HIM!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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