If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
