Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
