she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
