we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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