your room smells of hookers.
And success
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
