just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is wine microwaveable?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
