if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your face is a jimmy john
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize