I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
