Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i believe in u and ur pee
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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