she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
