Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
