he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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