Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
