One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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