I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
