I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize