i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
