Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
