Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize