Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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