Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
