I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
