His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this boner is exhausting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
