I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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