Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
