I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
