so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
