I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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