are you still at the devil's house?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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