He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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