I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girls should come with a carfax report
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
