mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
