he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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