What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
