the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
