also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
