Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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