but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
