So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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