Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
