so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A bitchslap is in order.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
