i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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