Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
