im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
