i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
