I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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