And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
